I am not sure if this is turning into an ongoing trend, but there's been a few nights lately where sleep has been evasive.
Not when I first go to bed, mind you. I am tired at night and almost as soon as I hit the pillow I am out. COLD. It's more around 3AM. I just wake up. 3AM has always been a fairly common wake time for me, and that's weird. But, I never used to have trouble falling back asleep. Well, until now.
Twice in the last few weeks, I have wakened in the early AM. And then I spend a few hours thinking about my stocks, about work, about things that happened during the day.
I think it is pretty normal. But kind of a pain and something o watch to see if it gets worse. I may start being a lot more active on this blog if it continues.
Saturday, February 6, 2016
Sunday, January 17, 2016
Colonscopy - at the hospital
My day at the hospital was pretty good. All the people - nurses, doctors, support staff - are really good and made the process easy. I won't say fun, though I was entertained at times. But, I don't think that you can ever associate a colonscopy with fun.
One point that irks me though. I started my procedure one and a half hours later than I was told. And I believe that was because early patients were late. That's one of the problems with healthcare in Canada. Doctors have to queue up people and over-schedule because you have a few A-Holes who think that they are above the system. They don't worry about being late, because it doesn't cost them anything and they join the queue where they were supposed to be. Make these patients go to the end of the line or make them compensate the people who are getting pushed out and we will have a better system (end rant).
Anyway, I got prepped, laid around for some time and finally got into the theatre. During prep they tell you that there is a 1 in 1000 chance you may get a perforation that will require surgery. teh doctor wasn't impressed with me when I asked how many patients they had since her last perforation (as I didn't want to be # 1000). I thought it was funny.
Unfortunately, because we were late, my doctor needed to go for lunch so they swapped in a new guy. He was pretty good though - funny and said "this is the break I was looking for"...But, he was good. The procedure went well (even with my apparently curly colon). The pain is tolerable (easier than banding IMO) and they do give you drugs for it (though I don't think mine were working super-well)...The result - no cancer, which is a good thing.HE told me I don't need to come back for 10 years and I didn't have the heart to tell him that in 10 years there is no way I am doing this. The chips can fall as they may.
He did tell me that I was a top 500 colon though. I kept pushing for top 10 or top 100. I think he thought I was pretty weird asking. But, when another guy has a bunch of stuff up inside you, you want to make conversation. And I did want to tell my wife that I ranked well anyway...
So, colonscopy - don;t fear it. It is relatively easy and quick. A few days later I am back to just hating my hemorrhoids and wanting them fixed finally.
One point that irks me though. I started my procedure one and a half hours later than I was told. And I believe that was because early patients were late. That's one of the problems with healthcare in Canada. Doctors have to queue up people and over-schedule because you have a few A-Holes who think that they are above the system. They don't worry about being late, because it doesn't cost them anything and they join the queue where they were supposed to be. Make these patients go to the end of the line or make them compensate the people who are getting pushed out and we will have a better system (end rant).
Anyway, I got prepped, laid around for some time and finally got into the theatre. During prep they tell you that there is a 1 in 1000 chance you may get a perforation that will require surgery. teh doctor wasn't impressed with me when I asked how many patients they had since her last perforation (as I didn't want to be # 1000). I thought it was funny.
Unfortunately, because we were late, my doctor needed to go for lunch so they swapped in a new guy. He was pretty good though - funny and said "this is the break I was looking for"...But, he was good. The procedure went well (even with my apparently curly colon). The pain is tolerable (easier than banding IMO) and they do give you drugs for it (though I don't think mine were working super-well)...The result - no cancer, which is a good thing.HE told me I don't need to come back for 10 years and I didn't have the heart to tell him that in 10 years there is no way I am doing this. The chips can fall as they may.
He did tell me that I was a top 500 colon though. I kept pushing for top 10 or top 100. I think he thought I was pretty weird asking. But, when another guy has a bunch of stuff up inside you, you want to make conversation. And I did want to tell my wife that I ranked well anyway...
So, colonscopy - don;t fear it. It is relatively easy and quick. A few days later I am back to just hating my hemorrhoids and wanting them fixed finally.
Colonoscopy preparation
I have had a colonscopy before. I don't really like them. But, after my experience with banding and that recovery, I was more looking forward to this easier process.
How you prepare for a colonoscopy is relatively straight forward. You basically reduce and then stop eating and then take some chemicals that make you violently expel anything remaining in your innards. It is a bit uncomfortable, but not too painful.
The problem for celiacs (which is a contributing reason I believe that I have these issues in the first place) is that food reduction means less complex starches (so, instead of eating whole wheat bread or brown rice you eat white bread for example). Ya, the problem for celiacs is that we can't eat white bread! It starts a cleansing process all on its own! So, for celiacs, the fasting starts a bit sooner than others. But, no big deal.
The actual chemical bath has changed though. When I last had a colonscopy I drank this huge flask of stuff - it was nasty and the effect was within the hour. Huge pressure in my bowels, but that shit cleaned me out. I am talking Jaws type, cut the shark open, see the dead fish splashing out, hear the ker-think of the license plate type of clean-out. Hold onto your knees splashing, sound reverberating approach to wrecking your toilet. And I wrecked it 10 years ago.
Now though, things are more gentle. You take two doses of a chemical after two softeners are applied. I mean, it is probably gentler. But it prolongs things over days and has less of a direct effect. Being a celiac I am used to problems in the bathroom department. And I think my body has become used to dealing with bad days. So, the gentler chemicals did make me feel a bit uncomfortable, but did not make it essential to go to the bathroom. In fact, I think that I could have fought them off totally. My body is just used to wrestling down an unhappy colon.
But, at some points I did acquiesce and allow my self to go to the bathroom. It felt better, but wasn't the clean-out that I would expect or experienced in the past.
How you prepare for a colonoscopy is relatively straight forward. You basically reduce and then stop eating and then take some chemicals that make you violently expel anything remaining in your innards. It is a bit uncomfortable, but not too painful.
The problem for celiacs (which is a contributing reason I believe that I have these issues in the first place) is that food reduction means less complex starches (so, instead of eating whole wheat bread or brown rice you eat white bread for example). Ya, the problem for celiacs is that we can't eat white bread! It starts a cleansing process all on its own! So, for celiacs, the fasting starts a bit sooner than others. But, no big deal.
The actual chemical bath has changed though. When I last had a colonscopy I drank this huge flask of stuff - it was nasty and the effect was within the hour. Huge pressure in my bowels, but that shit cleaned me out. I am talking Jaws type, cut the shark open, see the dead fish splashing out, hear the ker-think of the license plate type of clean-out. Hold onto your knees splashing, sound reverberating approach to wrecking your toilet. And I wrecked it 10 years ago.
Now though, things are more gentle. You take two doses of a chemical after two softeners are applied. I mean, it is probably gentler. But it prolongs things over days and has less of a direct effect. Being a celiac I am used to problems in the bathroom department. And I think my body has become used to dealing with bad days. So, the gentler chemicals did make me feel a bit uncomfortable, but did not make it essential to go to the bathroom. In fact, I think that I could have fought them off totally. My body is just used to wrestling down an unhappy colon.
But, at some points I did acquiesce and allow my self to go to the bathroom. It felt better, but wasn't the clean-out that I would expect or experienced in the past.
The colonscopy appointment
It seems that once you get into the medical system, that you will get pushed into other things. You folks know that when I came out of the banding, that I was still having issues. I still can't jog or do other things that will irritate my innards, so I still am not back where I want to be. So, I think I need more banding. But, that hasn't been scheduled and may be something that I need to push for...
However, because I have butt issues, other things have to be investigated. And, yes, it could be something worse I know. So, the next thing the system does is want to do a colonoscopy.
A colonscopy isn't that bad you say? Sure, not if you routinely use your butt as a two lane highway I guess. But, if this was traditionally a one-way street for you, the idea of someone taking their super-8 video camera and jamming it up inside you while others watch may be a bit daunting. But, that was my fate nonetheless. After my banding in November, I was scheduled for the colonoscopy in January.
However, because I have butt issues, other things have to be investigated. And, yes, it could be something worse I know. So, the next thing the system does is want to do a colonoscopy.
A colonscopy isn't that bad you say? Sure, not if you routinely use your butt as a two lane highway I guess. But, if this was traditionally a one-way street for you, the idea of someone taking their super-8 video camera and jamming it up inside you while others watch may be a bit daunting. But, that was my fate nonetheless. After my banding in November, I was scheduled for the colonoscopy in January.
Thursday, December 3, 2015
Hemorrhoid banding - 9 days later
Things are better. Not perfect but better...
For the last few days it has definitely been better than the previous week. No great stomach pressure. It is easier to sleep. #1 still takes some focus and concentration, But, I am OK with that.
So, for me, with 2 severity 3 issues, I would say that you have to budget a week. Plan to be at home if at all possible. But, after that I have been pretty good to go. I have played hockey already and though I still have some pain, and #2 is still problematic (with bleeding) things are looking better.
So, once I get back to normal I will get back to complaining about other ageing issues. And get those darn neighbor kids off of my lawn!
For the last few days it has definitely been better than the previous week. No great stomach pressure. It is easier to sleep. #1 still takes some focus and concentration, But, I am OK with that.
So, for me, with 2 severity 3 issues, I would say that you have to budget a week. Plan to be at home if at all possible. But, after that I have been pretty good to go. I have played hockey already and though I still have some pain, and #2 is still problematic (with bleeding) things are looking better.
So, once I get back to normal I will get back to complaining about other ageing issues. And get those darn neighbor kids off of my lawn!
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Hemorrhoid banding - the Trumpets of Angels
This morning I awoke too early. As you age you may not get around as much as you used to during the day. But, as a man, you more than make up for it with your trips to the bathroom at night. If only I got frequent flyer points for those short hops....
With my banding experience into day 5, there are complications though. #1 becomes an even tougher job. Not only do I have my normal "shyness" that I inherited, but the pressure from the banding procedure actually makes it even harder to go (tip from my wife was to blow through a straw - I pretended I was doing so and it seemed to work a bit for me).
So, there I stood. Ready for #1. But #1 wouldn't come. There's a lot of pressure feeling like a #2. And as you probably all know, #2 rules #1. So I stand there, hopping between feet, pleading, coaxing, cajoling #1 to start. My head starting to sweat profusely. Because the dog is going to start to whine to go out soon. And if my wife wakes up she is going to ask me what I am doing. And, at this very moment, I NEED TO FOCUS ON WHAT I AM DOING and not talk about what I am trying to do.
More struggle...More waiting. Nervous shifting. Pressure building. Head sweating. Body sweating. I can't stop trying now. If the dog decides to go for a longer walk I will be in a world of hurt if I don't go #1 before I take her out.
Nervously I relax to see if #2 really needs to be satisfied. #2 is a dark mistress. She beacons to try and only will give little. Turning to #2 too much is a sure fire way to cause yourself more hurt. But, the pressure is intense so I relax a bit, and....The trumpet of angels...Oh lord, it was small and soft but the release of internal pressure was exquisite. And it happened again.
I can't do justice to the feeling of joy. Oh, it felt delicious. I had regained some control of the whole movement. The potential to release pressure in these tight situations gives me reason to hope that the worst is behind me. Yes, I know the irony in that last sentence.
And maybe that is a benefit of getting older. The ability to appreciate, truly appreciate some of the little gifts that life affords. How maybe that stock values, retirement, and money worries really take a back seat to some of the most basic needs. Maslow was on to something...I didn't think once about the price of AAPL stock during this whole episode.
I think I need a post on retirement and stocks now...Probably some wisdom in there for people...
With my banding experience into day 5, there are complications though. #1 becomes an even tougher job. Not only do I have my normal "shyness" that I inherited, but the pressure from the banding procedure actually makes it even harder to go (tip from my wife was to blow through a straw - I pretended I was doing so and it seemed to work a bit for me).
So, there I stood. Ready for #1. But #1 wouldn't come. There's a lot of pressure feeling like a #2. And as you probably all know, #2 rules #1. So I stand there, hopping between feet, pleading, coaxing, cajoling #1 to start. My head starting to sweat profusely. Because the dog is going to start to whine to go out soon. And if my wife wakes up she is going to ask me what I am doing. And, at this very moment, I NEED TO FOCUS ON WHAT I AM DOING and not talk about what I am trying to do.
More struggle...More waiting. Nervous shifting. Pressure building. Head sweating. Body sweating. I can't stop trying now. If the dog decides to go for a longer walk I will be in a world of hurt if I don't go #1 before I take her out.
Nervously I relax to see if #2 really needs to be satisfied. #2 is a dark mistress. She beacons to try and only will give little. Turning to #2 too much is a sure fire way to cause yourself more hurt. But, the pressure is intense so I relax a bit, and....The trumpet of angels...Oh lord, it was small and soft but the release of internal pressure was exquisite. And it happened again.
I can't do justice to the feeling of joy. Oh, it felt delicious. I had regained some control of the whole movement. The potential to release pressure in these tight situations gives me reason to hope that the worst is behind me. Yes, I know the irony in that last sentence.
And maybe that is a benefit of getting older. The ability to appreciate, truly appreciate some of the little gifts that life affords. How maybe that stock values, retirement, and money worries really take a back seat to some of the most basic needs. Maslow was on to something...I didn't think once about the price of AAPL stock during this whole episode.
I think I need a post on retirement and stocks now...Probably some wisdom in there for people...
Saturday, November 28, 2015
Hemorrhoid Banding - My recovery
Yes, they lied.
They claimed to have banded my hemorrhoids. But, unbeknownst to me, the doctors had inserted a weasel into my sphincter. The weasel had sharp teeth, diamond tipped talons and shredded glass for fur.
Some discomfort until the end of the day. Ya, maybe. But you will also feel:
They claimed to have banded my hemorrhoids. But, unbeknownst to me, the doctors had inserted a weasel into my sphincter. The weasel had sharp teeth, diamond tipped talons and shredded glass for fur.
Some discomfort until the end of the day. Ya, maybe. But you will also feel:
- An uncontrollable urge to pee/poo - not just every once in a while. But constantly
- A stuffed feeling in your stomach/nether regions
- Pain around your anus. Not small. Sharp. Like no sleep sharp.
- Not being able to pee, even though you think you need to
And it isn't just a day. It is now 4 days. And you begin to dread, DREAD, DREAD the prospect of a bowel movement. How is that going to work? You are not allowed to push. And the first time you go nothing will come out. Perhaps some gas, maybe some squirrel niblets. And you may get some relief. But that relief will be short-lived as the pain and tightness will return as finish. Especially if your bowels are now full and your parts can't retreat. That really sucks.
Picture yourself on the toilet. In some pain and knowing what pain you will be in if you linger. Knowing that you HAVE TO GO and feeling the pressure you will start to sweat. Physically - you will sweat....If stuff actually start - When should you stop yourself? It feels good to continue but you know that this will bring pain later.
My recommendations:
- If your doctor tells you this is a day thing - ask them if you an call them if it bothers you in the early AM after the end of the day. Get their cell number. Get their address. You won't be able to go by but maybe some day you will be able to share your experience. Sure, some people get this done and it is easy. You may even be one of those. If you are I hate you.
- Drugs. Ya, Tylenol sounds good. But, Tylenol ain't going to feed the weasel. I am talking knock you on your ass type of shit. Not aspirin because that can make you a bleeder but get industrial grade shit. Valium, crack, LSD - something that is going to take the edge off. If the doctor tells you that you won't need it - ask them if you can hold their genitals in your hands and squeeze if it does. Better safe than sorry.
I am now on day 4, Still discomfort. I have one good BM (and paid for it) but I feel I am getting better every day. They say day 7-10 and the banded piece falls off. I hope that this means everything will then fit back in and reduce my pain. But, a one-day thing??? Nonsense.
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